The Tale of the All New Rookie Evil

Man has battled with demons and ghouls. Man has faced off with the most ancient of evils. Now, man faces an evil it has never encountered before. All all new evil. An evil so new and inexperienced, they call it the rookie evil.

Who will save the Earth from the evl so evil that it might not even really know that it is evil? Are the world’s civilizations damned for all eternity? Will the cataclysmic rise of the rookie evil lead to the destruction of the universe?

IN THEATERS 1.18.08 – THE ROOKIE EVIL

/first review of “The Rookie Evil” from January 11, 2008 preview screening\

Tonight, my wife and I went to AMC Van Ness, home of many Serenity preview screenings. We saw the new film “The Rookie Evil,” which was written by some of the best writers I’ve never heard of in my life. A couple of years back, Snakes on a Plane was the big cult movie of the year. This year I thought it would be Repo: A Genetic Opera, but after seeing “The Rookie Evil,” I would have to say that it is definitely in the running for cult movie of the millennium. This movie has it all. Great acting. Great plot. Witty banter between the two tired ninjas. It is almost like a buddy comedy, but more evil.

Sadly, many people will be going to see the J.J. Abrams Godzilla clone, Cloverfield next Friday when this movie shows up in theaters, so it will probably bomb. I encourage everyone to see the movie though. It is great!

/commentary on the non-theatrical release of “The Rookie Evil” January 18, 2008\
Well, a complete load of horseshit caused “The Rookie Evil” to have its theatrical distribution pulled. Apparently some guy in New Zealand that may or may not be related to Peter Jackson (who also recently sued to block Cloverfield from coming out because it was similar to his blockbuster, King Kong, but lost that one), feels that he owns the rights to the name and concept of “The Rookie Evil” because he wrote it into a fan fiction third Ghostbusters movie. The people who are actually producing the real third Ghostbusters movie have sued that guy to block him actually letting anyone read said fan fiction, but since their project has stalled during the casting process, the judge ruled that New Zealand guy has a case and has forced all prints of “The Rookie Evil” to be recalled to the studio. No “Rookie Evil” opening numbers this week. It also looks like the critics panned the preview screenings. Only seven people were in the theater with us in San Francisco. I think it is mostly due to this being a 20th Century Fox property. We all know their track record. I feel very fortunate to have had the opportunity to see this film properly on the big screen. Just the tired ninjas should merit anyone seeing this film. The rookie evil’s comedic (or maybe not so comedic) missteps are great too. Especially the part where he [SPOILER ALERT] forgets to tie his shoes… [END SPOILER] that part is great. I really was hoping this film would take off, because I’d love to see a spinoff or a televsion series based on this film or even a sequel. Maybe call it The Sophomore Experiences of Evil. That would rule!

/entry dated February 14, 2008 – unveiling of tiredninjas.blogspot.com\
Today, fans of the still unreleased film, “The Rookie Evil” have united in support of their newest devotion. They have banded together and started sending 20th Century Fox postcards and plastic ninja stars with the date 1.18.08 on them to send them the clear message that everyone on Earth wants to see the tired ninjas face off against the rookie evil. Now, lets see how long it takes for Fox to tell us off…

/entry dated February 28, 2008 – an excerpt of the big Wondercon 2008 review\
…and while I am very late in getting this all down, one of the big stories coming out of Wondercon was adding to my photo gallery with awesome directors. Now I can add the director of this year’s hottest film that no one has ever seen, “The Rookie Evil” to a list that already includes one of last year’s hottest directors, Zack Snyder (300) and Joss Whedon (Serenity). It was awesome meeting him and he even interrupted the Fox movies and television presentation, which was previously interrupted by the WGA strike, to let us know that Fox may be ready to make a DVD announcement sometime soon, and to thank us for all of the ninja stars. A Fox executive then escorted the two tired ninjas through the crowd and they threw stars out of a box that landed about an inch away from their feet, just like in the movie! It was really exciting. I can’t wait to have more details and the opportunity to see the film again!

/entry dated March 19, 2008 – Fox threatens to sue fans sending real ninja stars\
Our friends over at 20th Century Fox are no longer laughing or entertaining the sending of ninja stars their way in support of everyone’s favorite not-yet-released film, “The Rookie Evil.” Just like in one of the scenes in the film, a secretary tries to open a letter only to have a sharpened ninja star stuck in her finger. Fox has threatened to sue the fan, one D. Hunt from California, for terroristic intent. They also are quoted as saying “This type of action is not to be tolerated and anyone else sending anything shaped like a ninja star will suffer similar litigation.” The secretary said she was fine afterward and was promptly fired.

/entry dated May 5, 2008 – Fans rally to purchase print on eBay\
An interesting development today. Someone got a hold of one of the banned theatrical prints of “The Rookie Evil” today and posted it up for bids on eBay with a Buy it Now price of $20,000. savethetiredninjas.com has started a pledge drive to get the financial backing to acquire the print in hopes of hosting a touring series of charity screenings. The guy that ran the Buffy Musical tour, who is now bankrupt, is willing to help us organize the tour at Landmark Theaters around the country, and even in talks with some guy named Kevin (who goes by the name “Gossi” online) to secure tour dates in Europe. This is exciting stuff! Contribute now so that the masses may one day actually be able to see this movie!

/entry dated May 8, 2008 – Wow! We really did it!\
Some great news! We actually raised the $20,000. Albeit using our entire savings and the three dollars worth of contributions to savethetiredninjas, but we got it! I’ve just placed a Buy it Now on eBay and used my wife’s PayPal account to buy the print of “The Rookie Evil” from eBay. This feeling is awesome. I won’t be able to put a down payment on a house for at least a year but I really felt this purchase was worth it. I’m hoping this means many more people will get to see the film. I’m also hoping to get some charitable donations sent my way to cover some of this cost at some point. We shall see.

/entry dated September 30, 2008 – First ever Charity Screen Planned\
We just saw Serenity once again. I talked with the theater manager afterward and they agreed to let us have a midnight screening. I have to pay $6,000 to rent their smallest theater, which is the best price they could give me for something that they can’t commercially endorse. I also need to give them a $3,000 non-refundable deposit and sell 200 tickets before October 20th. The screening should be on Halloween 2008!

/entry dated October 1, 2008 – Charity Screening Tickets available online\
tiredninjasfacetherookieevil.com now has San Francisco charity screening tickets for just $50 per ticket available for sale! (It is the only way I could possibly afford the theater, sorry!) 50 cents from each ticket will go to the charity of your choice. Please buy many and tell your friends. Tee shirts will be available online soon as long as you show your support for this awesome film! Come on, the world needs to face off against the rookie evil!

/entry dated October 9, 2008 – Slow ticket sales\
We still have 198 tickets available. Please show your support to this awesome film! Check out tiredninjasfacetherookieevil.com now for more information. I’ve created a banner ad for your MySpace, Facebook, Zune Card, Flickr, iMeem, and whatever other social networking site you may have. Please download and spread it around.

/entry dated October 20, 2008 – Whatever\
Fine, I guess people just want to see me go broke. No one bought tickets to the charity screening. After there being no big DVD release announcement at Comic-Con, and after only my mom donating what she could to the theatrical print, I should have gotten the message. I always had faith in this film. I really thought it would be great to have theatrical screenings for the masses. Now it looks like it might not even come out on DVD. I don’t have a way to transfer via telecine or whatever, so I guess I’ll only have this print in a box to remember the year that should have been the year of “The Rookie Evil.” I hate Fox and their horrible marketing. The public needs to see this film. I’ve decided to sue the guy in New Zealand that sold me this print. Let’s see if I can recoup some of my loss.

/entry dated October 31, 2008 – Bah\
I’m out another $3000 and New Zealand guy sent me an email saying he will buy the print back for $1 and send me a telecine of it on DVD. I’ve agreed to his offer so that we don’t have to go to court. At least I’ll have a very expensive dvd copy of this movie finally!

/entry dated November 11, 2008 – The DVD is here!\
I just popped in my DVD of “The Rookie Evil”! It was awesome to see the opening title sequence with the shoe tying incident included just as I saw it back in January. This was so worth all that money I spent. I’m going to try to post clips on tiredninjas.blogspot.com soon.

/entry dated November 18, 2008 – Fuck Fox\
Fox sent a cease and desist for the two clips on tiredninjas.blogspot. Turns out they have a DVD release scheduled for next Friday and don’t want any footage online of their properties. Fuck Fox. I’m leaving the clips up.

/entry dated December 1, 2008 – The end of The Rookie Evil?\
I’ve just purchased a shiny packaged copy of the official DVD of The Rookie Evil. I’ve watched it through and decided it wasn’t that great of a movie. All that and I’m out around $30,000. I feel ripped off. Does anyone want to buy all the tiredninjas stuff I purchased the domains for, or a bootleg copy of the film?

That’s next year in a nutshell…

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